I dont understand how someone could trust a stranger or someone they barely know over a long-time best friend whose been there for them through everything as a shoulder to cry on, an ear to talk to, and as a comfort and protector.  Why would you do something you even think could possibly hurt me? why not wait a week? Why not even consider how it could affect things?  yeah maybe i over reacted a little bit at first and im sorry but you knew i was having a hard time lately being sick and stressed and overwhelmed.  i just dont understand....i tried to call but you didnt call back.  i guess you dont want to talk now or even ever but you know my number and where i live, i guess i'll just wait for you to come around and give me a holla.  Love you lots no matter how things end up....

To everyone else, the beach is great and Yay! i got some color.  well i've got to head back to the house for dinner and then a trip to the boardwalk... peace out

Oooo ya...Sas... I miss you tons!!!

Well... dont feel like writing much just wanted to update everyone and let yall know my life is goin great! School is done next week and i leave for Virginia beach next saturday... Yay! Shan and i are cool again But her and saskia are gone on their Senior trip :(

The best news of all is that i moved out!:)! definitely helps with God and stress and family relations and school and work and life.! My room is Hot too all red and black with dragons and chinese writing and a tv and AWESOME friends to live with!!

Well im off to do schoolwork... peace out!

An unfulfilled promise is still a broken one...

there once was a little bird who was old enough to fly yet her parents were afraid she'd get hurt.  She climbed to the edge of the nest just to look down until her parents were ready to let hergo.  She even steppped out onto the branch a couple times to compensate for the fact that she was trapped in her nest, yet quickly hopped back in to avoid hurting her parnets.  "I'm ready to leave" she said.  "No, you will make bad choices! There are other birds out there that you need to avoid, they are bad.  There are worms you will want to try but they are not good for you.  You will only eat what we give you here and everything will be okay."  "thank you for the warning.  i will be careful, may i go now?" "NO"

  The bird was now past her "ready to fly" stage and ready to "fly away."  "i'm an excellent flyer, i am responsible and smart if i leave now i'll still come back to visit" she said.  "No !"  they wouldnt listen and they wouldnt let her go.

 she is still trapped and she doesnt know what to do.

The Big bird said it was okay but they still held on. 

corny story i know. but oh well. peace out have a great day

GGGGGGGGrrrr........... i think i'll have a heart attack by the end of this week.  Seriously i have never been this stressed and physically ill over something thats not medically related at all!

It's not even worth it anymore... Some people are just blinded by their own stupidity. Selfishness takes over and its difficult to get accross.  One thing is sure though, i know God is listening and he is ALWAYS here for me to talk to, to cry to, to comfort me, to encourage me, and to lift me up when i am down.

God has a way of providing both discipline and rewards into each and every one of His childs lives.  Of course there is always Satan to be aware of.. he is always "competeing" for attention in any way possible.  But God is triumphant and we can be victorious over sin and hardships if we just keep our eyes on Him.  He has blessed me in so many ways with friends (even friends that i no longer have... and yes maybe i am a bit bitter but i think u would be too if you "best friend" didnt care you were near-death and in the hospital). and im sooo thankful for different witnessing oppourtunities.  His creation is AMAZING and i just LOVE looking at to pure whits snow... God make me white as snow, i want to live wholy for you.

It's been difficult lately at home.  Another close call... Recently, as i was out getting the mail, my mother was being immature and locked me out of the house on purpose without my shoes or gloves or a key to get back in.  She then drove off with my sister and partner in crime... Becky.  After an hour of trying to break in, I was ready to walk...walk away and never return.  I wanted to do everything and anything i know my mother doesnt like just to get back.  But then i heard God was telling me..." It wont only hurt her, but me as well."  So i eventually found keys in my coat pocket to my car, which i am very greatful to God that i have and although it doesnt always run well...it does run.  I drove to Sneakerking where i knew Heather was still working and broke down crying before i even got in the door.  Heather ran home and got me shoes and socks to wear and we hung out till about 10:30 when i was ready to go home(i had called my dad to make sure hed be home by ten to let me in). 

It was a long night and it was followed by a 200$ rent threat by my parents.  But so long as i drive my sisters to and from work more often and do the dishes everyday i dont have to pay rent.  I have decided that i need to pay more attention to my parents rules even though i may not agree, so long as i live with them i will abide by them under their roof. 

Well ... i am off to the gym ... have a great weeek!